‘Vacation blues’ can be a bummer. 10 expert tips to avoid feeling down during your time off.

So you booked the flights, planned and packed, set your out-of-office email and you’re finally here: on the beach or the mountain or in a brand-new city. You’re on vacation, and yet … you feel unhappy.

Of course, if you’re going through something serious back home, it makes sense that you’d carry your upset feelings with you regardless of your OOO. But what about those “vacation blues” that seem to come out of nowhere, without a root cause in sight, and all in spite of your own insistence that you must relax and enjoy your time away?

Research shows a correlation between going on vacation and having an increased sense of well-being (albeit one that doesn’t last long after returning home). One study from Wisconsin’s Marshfield Clinic found that rural women who take regular vacations are less likely to be depressed or experience marital dissatisfaction compared to those who seldom take time off. So what does it say about you if you find yourself feeling more stressed during your getaway?

Here’s what psychologists and other experts say about dealing with those vacation blues — and how to snap out of it.

Expectations vs. reality

Psychologist Joel Frank tells Yahoo Life that feeling down during your vacation can stem from several factors, and a lot of it has to do with expectations. “If you’re expecting constant happiness, any deviation from that can feel particularly disappointing,” he says. Maybe your beach day got rained out, or you’re cranky about the crowds at the “hidden gem” trattoria you discovered on Instagram.

Licensed mental health counselor Jeremy Henderson-Teelucksingh agrees. “The really interesting thing is that when we plan a vacation, we think of all the rest, relaxation, glamour and glitz we are going to experience,” he tells Yahoo Life. “We see ourselves boarding a glorious aircraft … only to find we are in coach with someone pushing their bare feet between the seats.”

It’s important to note, though, that there are truly unpleasant events that can happen on vacation, which do indeed “warrant proportionate psychic reactions,” psychiatrist Dr. Hong Yin says. She advises unhappy travelers to ask themselves: Is the vacation going badly in a more objective sense — the weather is terrible, your luggage is lost, etc.? Or are these feelings of unhappiness more internal? “We may be reacting to things that may be disproportionate,” Yin explains. “Would other people in your shoes be reacting in a similar way? Or do you think you are having your own individual reaction to an otherwise ordinary vacation?”

Beyond unmet expectations, there are plenty of other factors — both external and internal — that can cause us to feel unhappy while vacationing.

More causes of the vacation blues

Travel itself. Jet-setting is not for the faint of heart. “The logistics of planning, unfamiliar environments and disruptions to your routine can contribute to feelings of unease,” says Frank. “Jet lag can disrupt our body rhythm, while lost luggage might add stress.” All of these very common difficulties of travel can set you up for disappointment once you actually arrive at your destination.

Not enough downtime. “Overpacked schedules can lead to irritability,” says Frank. And overscheduling yourself — particularly common on vacations where you want to try all the things and see all the sights — is only going to leave you burned out.

Relationship tension. Frank urges those experiencing a sense of unhappiness throughout a vacation to think about the social dynamics of the trip. “Are you traveling with people who support and uplift you, or is there tension?” he asks. “Interpersonal relationships can significantly impact how we feel.”

Kid chaos. You’ve heard what naysayers tell ambitious parents who plan to see the world with small children in tow: “Travel with kids is a trip, not a vacation.” Dealing with kids who are tired, bored, off their sleep schedules and/or fussy about food they’re not used to — in addition to all the other demands of everyday parenting — can make parents feel frustrated and resentful. Jolie Silva, clinical psychologist and chief operating officer of New York Behavioral Health, tells Yahoo Life that one of her favorite mantras applies here: “Wherever you go, there you are.” A vacation with kids can often feel like “just shifting daily responsibilities to a new location, making it less relaxing,” admits Frank.

How to cope

• Give yourself grace. Psychiatrist Dr. Angela Kuntz says that bummed-out vacationers should “recognize that it’s OK to feel this way, and that it doesn’t mean the entire trip is ruined.”

• Take breaks. “Carve out some quiet time for yourself to reflect or practice mindfulness,” Frank says. Give yourself permission to back off your lofty vacation goals in order to recharge and ground yourself.

• Connect and communicate. Reach out to loved ones for support, whether it’s phoning a friend or talking openly with your current travel companion. Being honest about your feelings “can provide comfort, while adjusting your expectations can help you embrace the ups and downs of travel,” says Frank.

• Don’t skimp on sleep. Frank says it’s worth considering whether you’re getting enough rest on your trip in the first place. “Sometimes we pack our vacations with so many activities that we end up more exhausted than rejuvenated,” he explains. You may be more sleep-deprived than actually unhappy, so get some shut-eye and reevaluate.

• Set boundaries with others. Before you head out on any kind of group trip, “take a moment to think about the distance you need to be from others to love them and still love yourself,” says Henderson-Teelucksingh. “Tell them what is OK and what is not OK with you on the trip, and stick to it.”

• Set boundaries with yourself. “Most of us fail to consider our relationships with ourselves as the first and most enduring relationships of our entire lives,” Henderson-Teelucksingh continues. He advises practicing some self-talk; ask and tell yourself “what you will need from your vacation, and then plan to deliver what is best for you.”

• Eat nutritious food. “All food is good food; it’s just that some food is more nutritious than other food, especially while on vacation,” says Henderson-Teelucksingh. So enjoy the local cuisine, but also be mindful of what you’re consuming on the daily and how it’s affecting your mood and energy levels.

• Stay flexible. Allow yourself to adjust plans if needed. “Sometimes a change in itinerary or pace can make a significant difference,” says Kuntz.

• Think about what your family needs. “To enhance the experience, setting realistic expectations, involving children in planning, and scheduling self-care can help,” suggests Frank. “A family that plans one special activity each day might find joy in simple pleasures without feeling rushed.”

• Reframe the situation. “You control your narrative,” Silva says. If you tell yourself that you simply can’t relax or have fun with your kids around, “you may be engaging in something we call ‘negative filtering,’ which is an overfocus on negative aspects,” she explains. Seeing things in a more positive light can make it easier to make the most of your vacation. “While you may prefer to nap on the beach, jumping waves with your kids [can bring] you joy and laughs.”

The bottom line

Acknowledging these many stressors and maintaining your sense of flexibility is key for managing your mood while on vacation. When you’re open to unpredictability (plus a positive mindset), you’ll have the tools to transform inconveniences and letdowns into opportunities for adventure, resilience and epic memories.

“Reframe your expectations,” advises Kuntz. “Understand that not everything will go perfectly, and that’s OK.” Silva adds that staying mindful and taking it easy on yourself are crucial. There is no one singular, standout “way you have to be on vacation,” she concludes. “Just be!”