Before the advent of the cellphone, Mother’s Day was traditionally the busiest of the holidays for calling, surpassing even Christmas, while Father’s Day represented the highest for collect calls, according to AT&T.
That stat would be among many in the Father’s Day vs. Mother’s Day divide, which would seemingly fit into the late Rodney Dangerfield’s “I don’t get no respect” schtick.
And it’s in the gift-giving where you really see the gap, even with big bucks involved.
The average spent by someone celebrating Mother’s Day last year was $274.02, according to the National Retail Federation (NRF). For Father’s Day, it’s up to $196.23.
What gives?
Theories abound.
How did Mother’s Day get a headstart on Father’s Day?
“Knowing that Father’s Day was created 58 years after Mother’s Day, there may be a stronger focus on sales and marketing strategies for Mother’s Day compared to Father’s Day, resulting in consumers feeling more inclined to spend on Mother’s Day,” said Michael Miille, creative director of Perry Ellis and Original Penguin.
Indeed, Mother’s Day did have a major head start, receiving Congressional approval in 1914. According to the Library of Congress, it wasn’t until 1972 that dad officially received an annual day. And it had been previously voted down multiple times despite retailers pushing it on their own. Talk about no respect.
“Dads are not nearly as exalted, targeted with gag gifts, sports swag or barbecue and gardening tools,” said Carol Osborne, director of the University of South Florida’s Zimmerman Advertising Program in the Muma College of Business. “The trends haven’t changed much since the 1940s ― still some seldom used item dad wouldn’t buy for himself, but also overspending: Practice (golf) putting toys, bar tools, barbecue tools in a wooden case.”
Sometimes the simplicity is OK, said Naples resident and developer Scott Lutgert, who might be one of the most famous Collier County dads ― at least on the movie screen ― thanks to his son-in-law Sebastian Maniscalco’s comedy, “About My Father” that playfully poked fun at his daddy skills last year.
“I have a pet peeve about leftovers being left in the fridge,” Lutgert said. “One year, we returned home after a trip, and I saw two pizza boxes had been left in the refrigerator. To say the least, I was not happy about that, (and) I knew that one of our kids had left them in there. As I went to throw them away, I opened the top box and found a note inside an empty box that read, ‘Ha ha, no leftovers. Happy Father’s Day.’ I couldn’t help but burst into laughter at the playful and thoughtful surprise. It was a simple yet memorable gift that made the day even more special.”
More of those kinds of gestures might be an exception these days, with gift cards so easy to acquire. Certainly the creation of a dedicated day for dad was an overall game changer, Osborne said.
“Until it became a national holiday, sons and daughters performed small favors like polishing his one pair of good dress shoes or mowing the lawn,” Osborne said. “With retailers seeing an advantage, they began influencing purchases, suggesting ties, shaving brushes and soap and pocket knives. Gifts for mothers have always been positioned as adoring and indulgent: Flowers, chocolate, jewelry, dinner.
“Generally, more is spent on Mother’s Day because retailers target women with their products. The typical shopping mall or Main Street has far more shops for women, and department stores devote significantly more real estate to women. Women spend more than men on products. They are more loyal customers and spend more time shopping than men. Retailers know who makes the cash register ring ― or rather who makes the card reader ping.”
And historically, there’s good reason why businesses take that approach, notes Osborne, a former corporate vice-president whose wide spectrum of consulting and account and media management work goes from A&E Network, Vogue magazine and Clinique to World of Beer, the former Tampa Bay Bandits pro football franchise and the good, ol’ Chevy Silverado.
“In Paco Underhill’s book, ‘Why We Buy,’ women like to browse, try on clothes and parfum, and enjoy the pianist the store hired to lift the mood,” Osborne said. “Men, on the other hand, are on a mission. They are there to find that one thing they need and leave.”
When it comes down to it, stuff for her usually costs a lot more than for him, helping explain a little bit of NRF’s $10 billion annual disparity in spending tied to their special days.
“This could be due to a variety of factors including the higher cost of traditional gifts for mothers, such as jewelry, or maybe cultural norms that emphasize celebrating mothers and their roles in a more elaborate way,” said Khaled Aboulnasr, chair in the Department of Marketing for Florida Gulf Coast University’s Lutgert College of Business for nearly two decades.
On average, women’s products cost 13% more than similar men’s products, according to Kiplinger personal finance magazine and the New York City consumer affairs office.
Traditions also do play a part, and how the holidays are celebrated may be an aspect, Miille said.
Mother’s Day “often involves a gift, perhaps flowers, and an experience that includes the whole family,” Miille said. “Dads often receive something that can augment a day of restful solitude, such as a golf polo with a penguin on it or items he can use at work and on his commute like a tie or a cliché mug with “World’s Best Dad” on it. Father’s Day items are a lower overall cost by nature.”
Miille noted 2023 Empower financial services research that found quality time was by far the top choice by Dad on his day while Moms rank dinner No. 1.
It showed “moms are 120% more likely to be disappointed if their children don’t give them anything for Mother’s Day compared to dads, which could affect how children decide whether they should spend more on mom or dad,” said Miille, noting Doral-based Original Penguin is different since “a majority of our products are in the traditional menswear category. So naturally, we see more consumer spending during Father’s Day compared to Mother’s Day.”
How could the school calendar have affected Father’s Day popularity?
Father’s Day also might be at a disadvantage thanks to the calendar and perhaps didn’t get the same kind of focus in the school classroom.
That hypothesis has support.
“Mother’s Day is still celebrated. No question about that,” Lutgert said. “It’s a very busy day, but Father’s Day occurs after school is out, and during the summer it’s a lot more singular, not as much stuff going on. Graduations are over by Father’s Day, and vacation is in full swing.”
“This could be a valid explanation,” Aboulnasr said. “Mother’s Day falls during spring when schools are active, possibly increasing student’s involvement with more crafts and projects led by teachers. Father’s Day, like you said, occurs just as summer breaks begin, which potentially means less school involvement, which might affect the type and amount of gifts dads receive. Another theory could be that the majority of the growing number of single-parent households are led by single mothers compared to single fathers.”
If dad did receive such a gift from a school child, it was often treasured.
“I was in school in early June, and I remember making our dad’s waste baskets out of ‘headless’ bleach bottles decorated with crayon,” Osborne said. “My dad kept it on his side of the bed at least until I went to college.”
Other gifts can bring back unexpected memories.
“An old friend of mine gave his Dad a pet tortoise the year my friend went off to college,” Miille said. “He thought it would be a great gift that could keep his dad company while he went off to school. Turns out tortoises live decades, and now my friend is caring for this middle-aged reptile himself.”
Traditional, personal, coolest, unusual, oddest, funniest gifts for Dad
The trend of buying him “a fishing rod when he already has 10” does linger, said Osborne, who did a Google Trends query comparing searches of Mother’s Day vs Father’s Day since Father’s Day 2023. “Mothers rule during their holiday. I don’t know what it means behaviorally because we don’t know who searches or why they are searching, but obviously waaaay more interest in Mother’s Day. Maybe because she carried the burden.”
But personal gifts are in play as well.
“I would assume that maybe gifts are now becoming more experiential and personalized,” Aboulnasr said. “One of the coolest and most personalized Father’s Day gifts I’ve seen is a customized comic book. It lets you create a personalized comic book-like narrative starring your dad, where you can illustrate special moments and personal jokes unique to your relationship. It’s the personalization that makes this a unique gift.”
Osborne shared her list in selected categories:
“The coolest gift for dad: Something from the heart, a letter rather than a card saying, “Why I love my dad,” a hand-made coupon good for one car wash, yard raking ― anything to lessen the home to-do list. (It’s) harder now because many hire lawn, pool and car wash services. A photo of dad holding the baby or babies who made him a dad, framed and signed by the kids.
“The most unusual: Axe-throwing gift certificate.
“The oddest: Personalized stainless steel burger smasher.
“The funniest: Kid’s face printed on socks.”
This article originally appeared on Palm Beach Post: On Father’s Day, Dad’s OK with simple quality time
Amanda Smith is a dedicated U.S. correspondent with a passion for uncovering the stories that shape the nation. With a background in political science, she provides in-depth analysis and insightful commentary on domestic affairs, ensuring readers are well-informed about the latest developments across the United States.
