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Dear Care and Feeding,
I’m at a loss. My 10-year-old has let me know that it’s a thing now for kids to make fun of 9/11. It’s mortifying…
Jokes like holding up two fingers and acting like a plane is crashing into them. I’ve also seen a short video making a similar joke, so I know it’s not just some weird quirk with his friend group.
We’ve tried to explain to him why that’s a horrible thing. He legit doesn’t understand—how could he? Do I need to just resign myself to the fact that kids are going to develop their own humor and I can’t control that? I plan to tell him not to make or reference those jokes around me. I haven’t done this yet because I’ve been trying to engage/explain. But I’m stumped.
—Not Funny
Dear Not Funny,
To many kids, 9/11 attacks is an ancient, abstract event that doesn’t have any significance to them. You have to try and help your son to understand why the attacks are no laughing matter. Explain to him that 2,977 people died that day and help him to understand the magnitude of that number, i.e. “There are 1,200 people at your school. That’s more than twice the number of students there.” You can also talk to him about 9/11’s child victims. Let him know that eight children died in the attacks. This page from the 9/11 Memorial’s website features a picture of Christine Lee Hanson, the tragedy’s youngest victim, who was just 2.5. Perhaps seeing her, and her beloved Peter Rabbit stuffie, will help to humanize the people who were killed. Ask him to consider how he would feel if one of his classmates or relatives had passed away and kids were making jokes about it. Tell him what it was like to live through 9/11, how frightening it was to know the country was under attack, and how devastating the loss of life was for everyone. Hopefully, a better understanding of the event will allow him to develop enough empathy to stop making light of such a terrible occurrence.
—Jamilah
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Dr. Sarah Adams is a scientist and science communicator who makes complex topics accessible to all. Her articles explore breakthroughs in various scientific disciplines, from space exploration to cutting-edge research.
