Dear Amy: My 63-year-old husband has a successful career and a loving family.
And he smokes pot morning, noon, and night.
He knows it disturbs me (I don’t like the smell and I really don’t like his altered state), so he has found ways to do it that I do not smell, and also “sneaks” it in pretending he is doing something else like walking the dog.
He is a loving partner, a good dad, and he lies to me about smoking pot.
He says it is my fault that he sneaks.
I try to ignore it, but it is hard when he rolls out of bed to get high.
What do you suggest?
– Disgusted
Dear Disgusted: You must admit that if you didn’t object to your husband’s pot use, he probably wouldn’t sneak it. If he switched to gummies (instead of smoking), that would relieve one of your objections – the pungent smell.
There is a somewhat common belief that marijuana is not addictive, but you claim your husband cannot seem to get through the day without using cannabis. The drug’s effect on any one person varies widely, based on a number of factors, including the amount of THC in the dose and the health and age of the user, as well as if he takes prescription medication, drinks alcohol, or uses other drugs in addition to pot.
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention cites one study stating that “approximately 3 in 10 people who use marijuana have marijuana use disorder … meaning that they are unable to stop using marijuana even though it’s causing health and social problems in their lives.”
Your husband might have marijuana use disorder, a dependence on pot, or, perhaps, he just really loves to be high all the time.
Due to the increased and common consumption of marijuana and the sometimes challenging issues pot use raises among loved ones, “friends and family” support groups have sprung up to offer support to people affected by another’s pot use.
Mar-anon.com runs on a 12-step model and is associated with Marijuana Anonymous ( marijuana-anonymous.org ).
Zoom meetings are available every day, and these and in-person meetings are listed on the organization’s website.
I recommend that you should try your hardest to stop policing your husband’s pot use and detach from his behavior, so that you can separate your own options from your anger over his choices.
You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.
©2024 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
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Rachel Carter is a health and wellness expert dedicated to helping readers lead healthier lives. With a background in nutrition, she offers evidence-based advice on fitness, nutrition, and mental well-being.
