Sex & Relationships
If you can date them here, you can date them anywhere — or can you?
New York City is one of the toughest cities to be single in, according to new research — and those looking for love strongly agree.
The Big Apple ranked a measly 144 out of 182 in a WalletHub study of the best American cities where dating thrives, trailing well behind major cities like Seattle, Las Vegas and Atlanta.
And there’s a bevy of reasons why locals say it’s hard to find that special someone out of NYC’s total 8.3 million people, but as eligible bachelor Preston Rakovsky, 23, of Greenpoint put it, there are just too many candidates to single out.
“I feel like I’m in a candy store and there’s just so many good options,” Rakovsky, a software designer told The Post. “I keep walking down the aisle and I see a better one than I have in my hand.”
The statistics back his sentiment. Research from Bowling Green State University found that men in the Empire State are the oldest in the nation on average to wed for the first time at age 31. There isn’t all that much change for women in New York as they’re, on average, the third oldest first-time brides in the U.S. at 29.
A ‘cutthroat’ landscape and higher standards
“There are few opportunities to connect here meaningfully,” says Post columnist and reporter Rikki Schlott, 23, of Greenwich Village, who has been actively dating in “cutthroat” NYC for four years.
She was quick to agree that the numbers game plays a major factor.
“There’s a million beautiful women in this city. I go out to a bar in my neighborhood and see the entire place filled with blonde women who look and dress like me,” she added.
“Plus the degree of anonymity that comes with how big the city is makes it easy to ghost people.”
Schlott even confessed many of her friends can be “serial first daters” only.
She says dating apps only exacerbate the competitive nature as they begin to feel like reading resumes — and have singles adhering to standards they wouldn’t dare consider in person.
“You’re not measuring if a guy is 6 feet tall if you meet him in a bar,” Schlott said.
And with competition comes defeat, of course. Jessika Hardy, a 25-year-old video producer from Bushwick told The Post that she’s deleted her profiles after disappointment.
“I definitely let my guard down on apps,” she said. “I feel like if I met them in person and knew their lifestyle [negatively] I probably wouldn’t have gone on the date.”
New York ain’t cheap
Ask another New Yorker, like Upper East Sider Scott Gulbransen, 26, and he points the finger at the city’s “hustle culture” and career-driven mindset making it so tough to settle down.
“The rent is high, we’re all trying to date, we’re all stressed, and we’re all out for ourselves,” Gulbransen told The Post after going on some dud dates lately. “New York is a highly competitive environment and that makes people less interested in commitment.”
A factor that hurt NYC in the WalletHub findings was the local economics of dating and how pricy an inflation-fueled meal for two can be in Manhattan.
Gulbransen, a mental health counselor from the UES, knows this first hand after recently dropping $140 on an evening of only burrata, pasta and two total glasses of wine.
In a city with 340,000 millionaires, the highest concentration on Earth, Gulbransen knows his date need not look far for someone who wouldn’t sweat the bill. Her attitude, perhaps, showed that towards night’s end.
“She ghosted me after all that and barely said thank you.”
Lame first dates
More singles are vying to ditch the usual dinner-and-drinks routine on first dates, but NYC is doing them no favors, Olivia Maguire, 27 of Williamsburg, said.
“I just feel like New York City has such a drinking culture whereas on the West Coast like can go walk on the beach or you can go to an amusement park or something,” Maguire, who makes satirical TikToks about the NYC dating scene, told The Post.
“You’re ending up going on like three cocktail dates in like a week…if you’re not a huge drinker, I feel like that can be a challenge.”
Naturally, many areas with milder climates ranked above NYC in the report.
Maguire understands why New Yorkers default to drinks, citing one date scenario like four hours at a Yankee game or show as intimidating for the first time out — but wishes NYC was more conducive to a variety of easy first date options that don’t involve libations.
She joins the Gen-Z crowd leading the charge for sober dating, but until then, has put her concerns aside while out.
“I’ve let go of the expectation of ‘Is this my husband, or at least a boyfriend?’” she added. “Now I’m just laughing it off and going out with an open mind.”
All of these factors and the repetition of soulmate shortcomings can be surmised with a tragic analogy many a city-dweller can relate to, according to Gulbransen.
“Dating in New York City is really like being a Jets fan. You come off an absolutely terrible year then finally find the ambition to hope again, and then Aaron Rodgers goes down four snaps into the first game.”
Load more…
{{/isDisplay}}{{#isAniviewVideo}}
{{/isAniviewVideo}}{{#isSRVideo}}
{{/isSRVideo}}
Michael Johnson is a tech enthusiast with a passion for all things digital. His articles cover the latest technological innovations, from artificial intelligence to consumer gadgets, providing readers with a glimpse into the future of technology.
