Why science says separate beds, or sleep divorce, is the right move

Sex & Relationships

By Alex Mitchell

Absence makes the heart grow fonder — and apparently makes sleep sounder, too.

New research from the University of Michigan finds that it’s actually more beneficial for couples to sleep apart than together, if a disruption-free eight hours is the goal.

The news comes as more and more couples are opting out of conventional, shared bed sleeping arrangements, with celebrities like Cameron Diaz pushing to end the stigma around sleeping in other rooms.

Called a “sleep divorce,” one in three Americans are keeping the sheets to themselves for improved health — and for sake of their relationships, a recent survey by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine found.

That correlates directly to the number of U.S. citizens not getting enough sleep, per the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

“We know that poor sleep can worsen your mood, and those who are sleep deprived are more likely to argue with their partners,” said Dr. Seema Khosla, a pulmonologist and spokesperson for the AASM.

“Getting a good night’s sleep is important for both health and happiness, so it’s no surprise that some couples choose to sleep apart for their overall well-being.”

The Michigan study, which experimented with mice, observed that the little critters often sacrificed their preferred sleep locations in order to be closer to one another, in an attempt to satisfy their desires for physical connection and a feeling of safety, something the researchers referred to as “somatolonging.”

“The lack of this kind of contact was evident during the COVID-19 pandemic, during which people experienced somatolonging,” the study authors said.

Mice or men, it turned out, snuggling wasn’t all it was cracked up to be — not to the sleep-starved.